About a month ago a style consultant told me that pear-shaped women should wear fitted skirts that flare out at the bottom like a trumpet. It was one thing to recognize the fact that she was flat out wrong, but another entirely to realize that I had forgotten that such skirts even exist. Ugh, I thought to myself, I hated those skirts in the late 1990s. They were hideous. Fast forward to this past Saturday. I came across such a skirt at the thrift store, and found myself thinking that perhaps I should try it on, just for a laugh. A few minutes later I was the proud owner of the said hideous skirt.
The hideous skirt makes my legs look shorter and it makes my bum look bigger. Seen from the right (or wrong) angle, the shape of the skirt distorts proportion like nothing else I've ever worn. There are moments when it looks cute, then others when it's horrid all the way. I honestly think that these types of skirts don't flatter anyone's figure. But that's not the whole story. After all, I now own the hideous skirt. Here's what cracks me up: the ruffle at the hem has a lovely kick when I walk. It has a bounce that is light as air, but it moves and shakes like there's no tomorrow. It's a truly fun skirt. As I walked along the corridors of my office building today, I felt like swaying my hips from side to side like Carmen Miranda. I felt like taking smaller steps than usual. I felt like twirling. There's magic in the hideous skirt, it seems. And in certain angles, it doesn't even look half bad.